Kid Who Burns Ants With Magnifying Glass For Fun A Little Too Eager To Take Care Of Class Hamster

A boy wearing a yellow shirt holds a grey hamster.
Vasquez reluctantly agreed to send Reggie home with Hatten in an effort to “stay off his enemies list.”

Local second-grader and serial ant-killer Kyle Hatten reportedly has shown “unprecedented and possibly concerning enthusiasm” for his turn to take his class pet, Reggie the hamster, home for the weekend, according to teacher Alyssa Vasquez.

“He’s an…energetic child,” Vasquez said. “He spends every recess with this big magnifying glass, just singeing ants on the sidewalk for the fun of it. Sometimes he names them before he burns them—gives them entire backstories, families, dreams. And then he just holds up the glass between them and the sun, and laughs, and laughs.”

“Ooh, my turn, my turn, let me take him, Miss V! Let me take care of Reggie!” yelled Hatten, jumping up and down while waving his hand. “I’ll be super nice to him, and bring him back on Monday. All of him, every piece, I promise.”

“One time I saw Kyle catch a bluebird on the fencepost outside, and just rip his wing clean off,” commented classmate and fellow second- grader Melissa Bennett, her eyes glazed over as she recounted the incident. “It was just so…easy for him to do that. He just dropped the bird down, and watched him try to fly away with one wing,” she continued, bursting into tears.

At press time, a smiling Kyle was spotted outside of Vasquez’ house, having followed her home. “Please, Miss V? I have a little playset for him already and everything. It is my turn, after all.”

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