Mattel Unveils Groundbreaking New Barbie With No Career, Dreams

A barbie wearing a floral top waves in front of a pink background.
Mattel plans to release a Ken that adorns cargo shorts and a sweatshirt with a promising tech start-up's logo.

In a fantastic, plastic first for the foremost American toy manufacturing company Mattel, a new Barbie has been revealed, this time, with no career or dreams to her name.

“We wanted little unambitious girls to have a role model too,” said Mattel representative Clara Brown. “I hope that young women who respond ‘I dunno’ when asked what they want to be when they grow up can see themselves in this new Barbie.”

The Barbie, as with all her predecessors, comes with accessories, namely a diploma with a major in general studies. She also comes with a TV remote that can only go to the channels Bravo and TLC.

In a planned TV series highlighting the newest Barbie’s adventures, she sets out into the world with plans of “marrying rich, going to the mall, and maybe a workout class or something.” Viewers will also learn that Barbie “does not particularly enjoy doing anything” and “doesn’t mind keeping it that way.”

“She’s fulfilled in her own way,” added Brown. “Here at Mattel, we believe you can dream big, or not at all.”

At press time, Mattel was considering plans to put forth a Ken who is kind of a loser.

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