Girl Sleeping In Class Awoken By Thoughts Of Malala

Andrews was visibly crushed after picturing Malala slowly shaking her head in disappointment.

After falling asleep in her FTVM 272 seminar this past week, LSA sophomore Carrie Andrews allegedly woke up after being plagued by thoughts about female education activist Malala Yousafzai and her brave fight to get girls in the classroom.

Daniel Creighton, the class instructor, reported at first he witnessed Andrews “nod off a few times before looking really disappointed.” Then, suddenly, “she stared me down like she was awake the entire time,” added Creighton with great confusion.

“[Malala] got shot in the face trying to get to school and I can’t stay awake in mine,” said Andrews. “I’m gonna try to keep my eyes open for her.


According to sources, Andrews initially began drifting in and out of sleep before resolving to “not disappoint Malala anymore” and “appreciate [her] education instead of snoozing through it.”


Classmates reported Andrews privately making note of a resolution to donate $5 to the Malala Fund each time she missed a point in the lecture and scribbling something on her iPad to “at least make it look like she was paying attention.”


At press time, Andrews was seen graciously muttering “Greta” to herself after placing a metal can in the trash.

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