Roommates Unsure Who Will Get Custody Of Ironic Banner In House Divorce 

A banner of George W Bush painting in a field with the text "Mission Accomplished," hanging in a college living room.
The roommates were also engaged in a heavy legal battle about who will maintain possession of Hattenberg’s “dope” beer hat.

According to reports, residents of a house on South Division are battling over who will win custody of the ironic banner that hangs in the living room. 

The banner in question, which depicts former president George W Bush in a calm meadow painting a tree with the text “Mission Accomplished” underneath, has turned an otherwise amicable separation of the house of four into a “Hatfield-McCoy-esque” feud. 

The issue arose in March when residents Tristan McVay and Bryan Hattenberg decided they were getting an apartment together, leaving the remaining residents, Will Sheets and Donald DeAngelo, scrambling to find roommates. 

“Me and Donny have had that since we were in the dorms freshman year,” said Sheets. “That’s how we met Mackie and Hattie, they saw it hangin’ up and started dying laughing. We’d never met guys that shared our appreciation of ironic early 2000s political humor before.” 

“I don’t care what Sheets said, he’s never loved that banner like we did,” said McVay, referencing himself and Hattenberg. “He’ll come home drunk as shit, stumbling around, and rip that shit off the wall all the time. He didn’t even want to hang it up when we first moved in because he said it’d ‘scare the hoes,’ when in reality it’s just hilarious. He’s never appreciated it.”

At press time, the two pairs had etched out a plan that allowed Sheets and DeAngelo to hang the banner from the window of their apartment on game days. 

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