As colleges wrap up their spring semesters across the country, DC locals are bracing themselves for the annual dreaded descent of interns upon their hometown.
“DC in the summer is the absolute worst,” reported DMV worker Abby Chester. “It’s incredibly hot and ridiculously humid all of the time, and then on top of that there’s a twenty-something in a suit standing on every corner trying to tell you about the senator they’re working for.”
Washington DC, known for its gorgeous cherry blossoms and extensive unpaid internship opportunities, is a magnet for America’s up-and-coming deep state for three months every year.
“It’s just a really unique and incredible experience that you can’t find anywhere else,” said Jack Sommers who is interning for his local representative on The Hill. “It’s so hands on, there’s really no other opportunity to see politics this up-close,” he continued before leaving to lead his third Capitol tour of the day.
While interns adore their time in this nation’s capital, year-long residents detest this dark period. An anonymous source went as far to call them “worse than the Georgetown students.”
At press time, Chester was seen making her hour-long commute by foot to avoid seeing any interns in the Metro.
