“Enough About Me, I Want To Know More About You” Says Confused Girl Seductively To TSA

Russo allegedly laughed sheepishly when the agent informed her that she would be subjected to a pat-down.

Last Saturday, at DTW, first-time flyer Emma Russo was seen twirling her hair and making doe eyes at TSA agent Tom Walsh while he went about his routine questioning. Russo flirtatiously replied to his questions saying, “Enough about me, I want to know more about you…where were YOU born?”

“No guy has ever shown so much genuine interest in me before,” Russo stated. “Most guys just go on and on about themselves, but Tom seemed to actually care about what I had to say.” According to Russo, she felt an instant connection and reported that things moved pretty fast.

“I could tell he wanted to get to know me—who I really am,” said Russo. “He was asking me the deep questions like ‘Do you have history of any disabilities or medical conditions?’” Russo reportedly took the question as an invitation to open up about her struggles with acne in the eighth grade and her ongoing abandonment issues due to her dad “remarrying some skank [her own] age.”

Walsh reported that he was just trying to do his job. “I mean I’m flattered and all, but I’m happily marr—well, I’m married.” Russo was later seen dousing herself in duty-free perfume and seductively walking through the body scanner. “I told her to take off her shoes, but her blouse came off…?” said Walsh.

At press time, Russo was seen ripping a page out of her passport and scribbling down “Meet me at the Coney Island at gate A34. Let’s play 20 questions.”

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