Bulldog Charles Roadrage has been dubbed “the next victim of cancel culture” on campus as female dogs accuse him of “using his hot owner to get bitches.”
Lola Palooza, a poodle from New York, reports that Roadrage “kept taking his hot owner on walks” which would “distract her whore mother,” and Lola would then be forced to fraternize with Roadrage.
Many other pups have echoed Lola’s sentiments. Their owners, however, deny that this is the case. “I just need to take Lola on a walk to pee, and I happen to run into Charles’ father every single time I do that, but that’s literally just a coincidence I don’t hunt him down and know his walk routes by heart or anything,” reports Palooza’s owner Britney Garamond.
Roadrage has garnered quite the reputation as the “campus cuddly creep”, but he denies all of these accusations vehemently. “I would never use my owner whom I love so dearly to get bitches, that would be crazy. Bitches don’t just flock to us because their moms want to talk to my dad, I’m just a real female dog magnet,” reports Roadrage.
At press time, Palooza started fake attacking Roadrage to scare her mother.
