Area hipster Joanna Hirsha reports that she was “disappointed to find out Rick’s isn’t actually a cafe.” Hirsha, a senior in Stamps, has been on the hunt for new aesthetic cafes to pretend to read a book in. “I overheard someone talking...

Reports are indicating that during an EECS 281 lecture last week, professor Cyrus Ferling’s entire personal life was revealed when he shared his home screen on his iPad when transitioning betweenPowerPoint slides. “It was like a glimpse into...

Vehicle owners across Ann Arbor have reportedly felt “defenseless” since the beginning of “open season” on invasive cars, a period of the calendar year in which parking enforcement officers have jurisdiction to elicit “as many tickets as...

According to a new report out of Case Western Reserve University, waking up and groggily asking “what happened last night” while clumsily rubbing your face is still the best indicator of a wild night. Case Western, the perennial experts on the...

Philosophy Professor Larry Corman reportedly announced to his class that “essay length doesn’t matter, but essay girth sure does.” Student Bobby Thorne immediately reported the statement to the head of the philosophy department. “That was a...

Economics professor Emmanuel Walker reportedly brought in a charming little snack for his students on the last day of class. The lite fare brought a sense of “whimsy” to the concluding of the course, which all enrollees are allegedly failing or...

For the first time in twenty years, the exchange rate between the Blue Buck and the U.S. dollar has reached parity, with one U.S. dollar equaling exactly one Blue Buck. The Blue Buck, the official currency of the University of Michigan, is down...