Boyfriend Clearly Learned Skincare Routine From Ex

Witnesses have reported rumors that 23-year-old Sarah Wang’s boyfriend definitely learned his 7-step skin care regimen from his ex- girlfriend. “When I spent the night at Jared’s place for the first time, I felt my heart drop into my...

Two feet with toes locked together

Area Man’s Toes Fit Together Like Puzzle Pieces

This Tuesday, area man Clay Brisbane was shocked to discover that all ten of his toes fit together like “little puzzle pieces.” “It’s so weird,” reported Brisbane. “My second toe has two little divots on the side of it, and my third toe...

Woman in chair looking at hands

Stoner Housemate Won’t Stop Talking About Hands

Reports confirm that area stoner Donna Schmidt would not stop talking about her hands after several bong rips this past Friday night. After settling into her nightly couch slump, Schmidt began a thorough examination of her paws. “It’s just so...