Sources report that earlier this week, the international humanitarian coalition Doctors Without Borders had filled a previously unfilled job listing for a nurse with a map. The employment of the nurse with a sense of direction follows the report...

Area mom and alleged “total bitch” Terri Hanson seemingly doesn’t understand that “literally every other girl in the eighth grade is wearing crop tops now,” according to daughter Maria Hanson. Witnesses first reported noticing Hanson’s...

Thirteen years after releasing his hit single, Replay, Iyaz, now free of his iPod’s faulty replay function, has literally no idea what to listen to. Upon realization that “shawty was no longer stuck in his head like a melody,” associates of...

A recently-married couple’s reports of paranormal encounters at the allegedly-haunted Johnston Inn in Columbus, Ohio have recently been debunked by staff and guests alike, who insisted “no ghost would spend such precious time haunting such an...

TV-recommending friends around the nation have released new guidelines to “skip season one” of all suggested series.  “I mean, you can watch season one, but you’ve got to get past it for the show to get good,” said Sarah Fink, a...

Last Sunday, Pope Francis introduced a landmark change to Catholic doctrine, announcing that the Church will now help students to find forgiveness in the eyes of God for their student loans. The declaration has come as a shock to many and rattled...

Test audiences of a new Law and Order SVU episode have evaluated the installment to be “subpar” on the basis of “nothing super fucked-up happening in it.”  “The run-of-the-mill assault stories just don’t entertain. Most of your...