A survey conducted by Harvard sociology professors has revealed that “100% of the pairs of sisters surveyed noted having some sort of disturbed, savage game they played growing up.” The analysis revealed several testimonies by sisters...
University of Michigan senior Klara Kullen was seen on the Diag trying not to look awkward walking while the men’s glee club performed “Hotline Bling”. Kullen reports that her fear of awkwardness stemmed from being “unsure whether she should...
Following the nation’s fourth mass shooting in one week, esteemed reporting outlet the Associated Press has released what they called a “foolproof ‘Mad Libs for Massacres’” template to expedite the process of reporting on mass shootings so...
The historically extended election cycle for the Speaker of the House of Representatives has drawn to a close following a political alliance between premier Republican nominee Kevin McCarthy and far-right members of Congress that leaves McCarthy...
Reports have emerged that a new tattoo belonging to Carrie Murphy, a 20 year old psychology student, has been the subject of intense debate and controversy at the Murphy family Christmas. The tattoo in question, a small heart located on Carrie’s...
Ahead of the coming holiday, individuals around the nation are reportedly readying themselves for the annual tradition of seeing their extended family wearing pajamas at holiday gatherings. “I didn’t know my uncle owned pajama pants,” said...
After a series of protests, Santa has decided to forgo his usual tradition of putting coal in the stockings of naughty children; instead, this Christmas, naughty children will be awarded carbon credits, which permit them to emit only a limited...