Ann Arbor resident Cameron Schmidt was seen playing chess in Burns Park, a move that many have called “disastrous” and “quite embarrassing” for the chess novice and known idiot. “I kinda feel bad for him,” says Schmidt’s friend and...

According to a report released on Wednesday by the Ann Arbor Tenants Union, numbers living under the square root symbol enjoy better housing than 68% of University of Michigan students. Housing quality was determined by scoring living conditions...

A recent poll has confirmed that everyone has claimed themselves to be “so good at Wii Sports.”  “Oh my God, I’m the best at tennis,” said everyone. “I’ve been in the Pro Level since I was six. Don’t even get me started on bowling....

Recent reports are confirming that area hot dad George Lowe has three daughters and no sons. According to witnesses, 45 year-old Lowe’s 9/10 face combined with his effortlessly wry and cynical sense of humor and detached demeanor have led...

In a recent study completed by researchers fueled by the delicious taste of Oreos™, market researchers claim that “anyone can simply claim to be sponsored by any company without permission.” “Companies can’t remember who they are...

Rolling out their new winter specials, Denny’s has introduced a new addition to their breakfast menu called the “Fat Little Piggy Grand Slam.” The new breakfast option reportedly features “as much food as a chunky little piggy could want,”...

Area man Nick Hahn has claimed that as of Tuesday, his dryer had been awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics after twisting his duvet cover into a shape that was proven to be mathematically impossible. “I was pretty pissed at first when my shitty...