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SeaWorld Promises to Release Florida Tourists Into Wild by 2018

Following years of activist complaints, social media campaigns, and...

  • Apr 8, 2016

Former Bully Now Straddling Teammate On A Motorized Scooter

Michigan football player and LSA sophomore Kyle Sherman, who...

  • Apr 8, 2016

2017 Toyota Corolla To Be Capable of Most Fuel Efficient Vehicular Manslaughter to Date

Toting a best-in-class fuel efficiency among other midsize sedans,...

  • Apr 8, 2016

Heroic Toddler Poops in Pool, Rescues Swim Team From Two-Hour Practice

In a selfless display of poor bowel control, 4-year-old local hero...

  • Apr 8, 2016

Adam Silver Lifts Ban on Defense for Playoffs

Upon the conclusion of the NBA regular season, NBA Commissioner Adam...

  • Apr 8, 2016

Report: Peyton Manning Wandering Aimlessly Around Mansion Waiting to Masturbate Again

According to sources close to the situation, former NFL quarterback...

  • Apr 8, 2016

‘Mysterious’ Hallmate Glad People Haven’t Realized She Just Quiet And Lame

After three consecutive months of minimal contact with her hallmates,...

  • Feb 19, 2016

Study: Guys Who Let Girls Keep Coat in Their Rooms at Parties 100% More Likely to Have a Girl’s Coat in Their Room

The University of Michigan Institute for Social Research published a...

  • Feb 19, 2016

Modern-Day Übermensch Achieves Sophomore Standing One Semester Early

Casting aside the shackles of earthly limits, LSA freshman Eric...

  • Feb 19, 2016
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