According to eyewitness reports, two undergraduates sharing a hammock caused widespread disgust and “gross vibes” from other students on Diag. “It was a really nice day today, so I decided to grab a picnic blanket and sit under a tree. Then I...
Though several of her friends had invited her to attend social functions on Saturday evening, senior Molly Wile turned down all their offers in favor of “taking some well-deserved ‘me’ time,” which reports claim was “fucking epic.”...
Telling you that he totally hears what you’re saying while steamrolling over your words, sources closely monitoring the situation have reported that “look,” area man Tod Simmons “totally gets it.” “I’m gonna stop you right...
Citing a desire to bolster his final transcript before graduating, LSA senior Lawrence Jacobson has significantly enhanced his GPA just days before commencement by procuring a set of honors cords from the Michiganensian Grad Extravaganza. “I was...
As the temperature increases in Ann Arbor, students are beginning to hate themselves instead of the depressing weather. “When I walk outside, and it’s 50 degrees, I really can say that it’s not so bad here,” proclaimed LSA Sophomore Mike...
