After 78 minutes of Econ 101, sources report that Ross sophomore Jack Sheffield, a sadistic student in the front row of Lorch 140, boldly raised his hand despite the professor wrapping up the lesson. Multiple students said that they had already...

Witnesses reported that computer science major Benjamin Stevenson did a line of code while attending an Oakland Avenue house party on Friday night. The party, which was hosted by a group of juniors, offered refreshments such as soft drinks, beer,...

History 214 student Paula Rollins claims that after waiting three weeks for her essay on Bulgarian nuns to be graded, her professor’s only written comment was “good work.” “What the fuck,” Rollins was overheard saying to a classmate....

With the fall season in full swing, the leaves on the trees in Ann Arbor are changing, and just as the leaves change their color, so too does the color change on Kevin’s mood ring. Local parks and orchards have reportedly seen a huge spike in...

Reports emerged last Tuesday that no dosage of antidepressants could match the strength of area man Jeremy Smith’s impregnable ailing body. “They can try, but he’ll never let them win,” reported Smith’s long-time friend Mark Billing....

In an effort to reduce the burden of his homework load, LSA sophomore Lawrence Hettle spent three hours skimming the first fifty pages of Pride and Prejudice last Wednesday, reportedly making sure to only pay attention to key plot points,...