Most Biology Classes Just About Kinky Animal Sex

A recent study has revealed that, despite commonly held beliefs, most university level biology classes are mostly just about really wild animal sex. “A common misconception about upper-level life science courses is that they teach students about...

Student’s Phone Vibrating Way Too Hard

Sources report that junior Alex Duchovnys has had his phone set to vibrate “way too hard,” and that it “fucks up everybody in the room every time it goes off.” “We were just sitting in lecture and suddenly I heard what sounded like a...

Sad Guy Pushing Cube

Reports emerged late last week that a sad guy was pushing the Cube. Sources reported seeing LSA senior Jacob Strombley last Thursday at 8:57p.m. pushing the large art installation designed by Tony Rosenthal in 1968 into motion. Strombley caused the...