Dole Introduces New Solar-Powered Produce Line

With marginal revenue on the decline after yet another slow quarter, Dole Fresh Vegetables Inc. has opted for an innovative solution and announced their very first solar-powered line of produce. “Dole has a rich history of selling high quality,...

Molly’s Quiet Night In Fucking Slaps

Though several of her friends had invited her to attend social functions on Saturday evening, senior Molly Wile turned down all their offers in favor of “taking some well-deserved ‘me’ time,” which reports claim was “fucking epic.”...

Look, Area Man Gets It

Telling you that he totally hears what you’re saying while steamrolling over your words, sources closely monitoring the situation have reported that “look,” area man Tod Simmons “totally gets it.” “I’m gonna stop you right...