You read that right. Cat’s out of the bag. Every single article that you have ever read that the Every Three Weekly has published, regardless of medium or time of publication, was written by me…as long as it made you laugh. All the unfunny ones...
Like I don’t even understand why it’s a big deal right? I’m SORRY. I didn’t want to go through some stupidly complicated process where I had to connect to M-set up and then type in my UM ID and then do two-factor authentication and...
Alright, mate. Sorry, my bad, ‘How’s it going…’ Oh, you noticed my accent. I guess you could tell it’s not American, right. Yeah it’s totally crazy, I’m from like a whole different country that isn’t this one. I know what we...
If you’re a regular reader of this paper or even one of the editors, you may be wondering, “Who the hell is this broad?” Well, I only became a staff writer this semester, making it my first and last semester with the paper. See, I discovered...
As my legendary tenure comes to an end, the editors and writers have been contemplating if there is even a point of continuing the Every Three Weekly without my name in the credits. However, I want everyone to know that I give my blessing for all of...
Hello again, my precious little reader. Yeah I’m talking to you! You may not have always known who I am, but trust me, I’ve kept a very close eye on you. I’ve watched you while you gawked, giggled, and gagged, all while reading my articles....
If you’re reading this, I can only assume you’re on a devout internet search using my namesake. If I’m not famous yet then odds are you’ve came across an online relic of my time as a nefariously niche campus micro-celebrity, this included....