As we prepare to bid adieu to layout and the pitch meetings I occasionally showed up to, I cannot help but reflect on the journey we have all taken together. Not all of you are graphic designers, but most of you seem pretty cool anyway. I thoroughly...

Every time I began brainstorming for an Every Three Weekly pitch meeting I’d think about what I would say to relieve the tension at the assassination of John F. Kennedy” or WWISTRTTATAOJFK. I can’t imagine a more tense silence than the silence...

You know her, you’ve seen her in movies and you’ve read about her in novels that have paintings of oceans on the covers: Dead Wife. Dead Wife lives in the abstract. She exists only in flashbacks, one of which you (the viewer) gets to see after...

I’m done fucking around. “The best haircuts for your face shape.” Ok? “The best hats for a Warm Summer,” whatever the hell that is. “Best dresses to buy for an inverted triangle body type.” What the hell do all these words mean, and...

For four years I’ve devoted my blood, sweat, and tears to the Every Three Weekly, and now the time has come for me to say my goodbyes, but before I do that, I gotta get something off my chest: I slept my way to the top of this organization, and I...

Ever since I joined the paper, people have said that I was basically Michael Jordan. They said, “You are to basketball what Michael Jordan was to basketball.” I’ve also been called the “Mozart of basketball,” the “Neil Armstrong of...

I served as a writer for The Every Three Weekly for (almost) all four years of my time here at Michigan, and I can finally say with total honesty that without another “Brendan” around to challenge my ability or authority, there was never really...