After Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced a formal impeachment inquiry on September 24th, democrats everywhere are certain that “we got him this time.” Despite the plethora of accusations against the president since his inauguration in...

White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham announced on Monday that the identity of the White House whistleblower has been discovered by conducting a DNA test of the saliva left on the whistle. “It was pretty easy, actually,” said Sarah...

In a culmination of decades of research and an archaeological dig costing hundreds of thousands in government funding, sources report that paleontologist Dr. Graham Norton made the last-minute decision to “just stick the left over bones in back”...

Following another evening of takeout from Papi’s Pizzeria, sources confirm that it became increasingly clear area man Barney Watt did not have the slightest clue his favorite restaurant was just the front used by the largest organized crime ring...

Following an impromptu call for audience participation at a cover band concert for a local charity, area man Ray Donaldson told reporters Friday that there was “no way in hell” he was about to start clapping along. “Oh no,” said Donaldson as...

Heeding the words of Matthew 28:19 to “go make disciples of all the nations”by going around the neighborhood knocking on peoples’ doors, sources report local Jehovah’s Witness Kirk Reynolds was elated to realize he only needed to convert ten...