After losing their usual meeting spot in North Quad due to a recent round of renovations, the university’s Football Watching Club has reportedly “settled for Mason Hall” as their location to watch the big game. “I tried looking for rooms in...

Reports have confirmed that student Abby Sweeney has been pinned to the inside of her turtleneck after she tried removing the garment while keeping her glasses on. “I just came home from a long day of class and was so eager to change into my...

 COVID vaccine  5G real and verifiable  top secret government mind control.  Space lasers proven to be effective  forest fires.  Congress is a front  lizard people run the government.   Jet fuel can’t  just kidding. Or am I?  Every...

Witnesses confirm that Laura Jenkins, mother of 16-year-old Tommy Jenkins was quoted to have asked ifshe could “give that video game a spin.” Jenkins was seen poking her head around the corner numerous times as her son gave his...

Studies out of New York University suggest that the “inherent sex appeal and badass nature” of revolutionary actions have been significantly diminished by the participation of Republicans. “It’s really fascinating from a sociological...

In what is being called the “biggest scandal of the year,” local woman Caroline Marlen was “disgusted, and appalled” to discover that her father, a man she’d previously considered to be “all about our family, and totally devoted to...

Following Trump’s indefinite suspension of anti-pollution laws during the coronavirus outbreak, the abandoned EPA headquarters has reportedly been reclaimed by nature. As the nation remains quarantined at home and corporations have been given an...