Pinball Pete’s Date Could Be Going Worse

Reports emerged late last Thursday that area woman Andrea Johnson’s date at the Pinball Pete’s arcade on South University St. “could be going worse, I guess.” Johnson, a self-described “grown woman,” reportedly shrugged and looked on...

Lion Weighing Pros And Cons Of Eating His Stepsons

Last Sunday, as he crouched over their father’s carcass, a Kenyan lion contemplated whether or not it would be worth it to eat his two stepsons. The lion had just recently mauled his stepsons’ father, thus stepping into the role of the deceased....