Report: Mikey Puked In Third Period

Confirming what had been rumored in the hallways of Stevenson Middle School since 1 pm last Tuesday, a report released by school administrators indicated that sixth grader Mikey Nunes, 12, had in fact puked in third period. “Yeah it was all over...

Dad Driving To Airport Fast

After his daughter visited home for fall break, area dad, Chet Conlin reportedly drove to Chicago’s O’Hare airport faster than his regular speed. Sources report that Conlin was zooming through city streets at five miles above the speed limit. No...