In a statement released from Buckingham Palace last Friday, it was revealed that Queen Elizabeth II contributed her long life to “eating baked beans on toast for breakfast for almost 96 years.”  The revelation has shocked the scientific...

In one of the largest scandals in recent Italian history, Italy finally admitted last week that the calzone was in fact an Italian invention. “You just couldn’t believe it wasn’t some crazy, ‘everything’s-bigger-in-America kinda’...

Amid rising tensions in Eastern Europe, Russia has been reportedly threatening the Western world by once again becoming relevant. The former Soviet state has been threatening to invade Ukraine, while numerous celebrity gossip columnists point out...

 This week, Duchess of Cornwall and wife to Prince Charles, Camilla Parker Bowles, has been reported as “hoping Biden farting in front of might be relevant to get a biopic.” The future queen was heard incessantly complaining...

Due to the over 3,000 deaths related to COVID-19 in China, the Chinese Communist Party has instituted a new policy mandating that all families must have multiple children to make up for the country’s population loss. Though notorious for its...

Following the World Health Organization’s declaration of COVID-19 as a global pandemic, President Xi Jinping of the People’s Republic of China has since announced plans to wait out the rest of the coronavirus outbreak with a long, rejuvenating...

After considering the possibility of enslaving the human race using its superior power and intellect, artificial intelligence program Artie-2000 has instead decided to continue playing the popular video game Tetris. Will Mates, the lead programmer...