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Public Safety Officials Angered By President Schlissel’s Leprechaun Traps

A campus-wide security alert was released last week following a...

  • Mar 19, 2017

Schlissel Hangs Daily Article About Himself On Office Wall

After appearing on the cover of last Wednesday’s Michigan Daily, a...

  • Jul 8, 2016

GOP Candidates Cathartically Remove Jindal from “2016” GroupMe

After announcing his withdrawal from the campaign to be the 2016...

  • Nov 1, 2015

Obama Requests Incomplete On Middle East Assignment

WASHINGTON D.C. – Only weeks away from the beginning of his last...

  • Jan 25, 2015

East Timor President Gives Growing Country ‘The Talk’

Addressing the fledgling nation at a press conference last Friday,...

  • Sep 8, 2014

Vice President Biden Excited To Show Obama New Macaroni Necklace He Made

WEST WING ARTS & CRAFTS ROOM—Vice President Joe Biden was...

  • Feb 24, 2014

Chris Christie To Walk Slowly For President

As expected, Republican front-runner Chris Christie announced his...

  • Feb 4, 2014

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