Due to the over 3,000 deaths related to COVID-19 in China, the Chinese Communist Party has instituted a new policy mandating that all families must have multiple children to make up for the country’s population loss. Though notorious for its...

Following the World Health Organization’s declaration of COVID-19 as a global pandemic, President Xi Jinping of the People’s Republic of China has since announced plans to wait out the rest of the coronavirus outbreak with a long, rejuvenating...

After considering the possibility of enslaving the human race using its superior power and intellect, artificial intelligence program Artie-2000 has instead decided to continue playing the popular video game Tetris. Will Mates, the lead programmer...

Citizens across America are gearing up in eager anticipation of the colder, Less Good Olympics. The Less Good Olympics, which begin February 9th, will remain on in the background of every waiting room in the country until their conclusion two weeks...

Peters, waiting dejectedly for his fellow soldiers to return. Sitting despondently in his bunk bed at his US military base in Baghdad, Private First Class Richard Peters confirmed to sources that he thinks his fellow soldiers didn’t invite him to...

Today, the large quantity of methane in the Earth’s atmosphere expressed modesty, downplaying its own contribution to global climate change. The gaseous alkane said it gets “embarrassed” when scientists conduct studies on its atmosphere-...

Children will reportedly be rewarded with monetary gifts for proving their worth through organized labor. Among several cuts made to fund President Trump’s proposed military budget increase, House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) announced plans on...