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Report: TJ Maxx Lipstick Has Bite Taken Out Of It

  • Feb 3, 2022

Students Lining Up For Skeeps In 12-Degree Weather Like Fired Depression-Era Laborers In Breadline

Students in the two-block line for Scorekeepers Sports Grill and Pub...

  • Feb 3, 2022

New Study Finds KN95 Mask Most Likely To Make Wearer Look Like Little Duckling

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan...

  • Feb 3, 2022

Professor Unironically British

Last Monday, students of a History 201 section were surprised to find...

  • Feb 3, 2022

Hulu Disturbed To Learn Customer Password Fraud “Goes All The Way To The Top”

Popular broadband streaming to learn that “customer password...

  • Feb 3, 2022

Regents Finally Uncover Mystery Of Recurring $10k Honeymoon Suite Charges To University Card

The Regents of the University of Michigan announced Sunday morning...

  • Feb 3, 2022
Monkeys in hospital beds

ICU Beds Full After Five Little Monkeys Injured Jumping On Bed

ICU beds at area hospitals allegedly filled up after a doctor...

  • Feb 3, 2022
blind man sitting at a piano

Report: Blind Man Really Good At Piano

Last Sunday, churchgoers at Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Episcopal...

  • Feb 3, 2022
Sandra Bullock looking professional

Sandra Bullock To Play Tough, Employed, Sexy Brunette

Actress Sandra Bullock is rumored to be breaking into an exciting new...

  • Feb 3, 2022
Joe Biden at a podium

Biden Announces Bold New Plan To Just Let Country Keep Doing Its Thing

President Biden sent shockwaves across the nation today, as he...

  • Feb 3, 2022
Italian prime minister holding calzone

Italy Finally Admits To Inventing Calzone

In one of the largest scandals in recent Italian history, Italy...

  • Feb 3, 2022
Mouse in glasses and tie

Report: Several Rodents Being Interviewed For
Upcoming Groundhog Day Position

A recent report from local newspaper The Punxsutawney Spirit states...

  • Feb 3, 2022
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