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Every Three Weekly

An upper-and-lower-case O-umlaut
The Click House

ÖÖÖÖÖ: These Words Could Really Use An Umlaut!

It’s that time of year again! The Every Three Weekly is honored to present another edition of our Annual List of Words That Could Really Use An Umlaut. And a week early no less! Our panel of...

  • Apr 21, 2022
A Man in a drive Jacket looking like a jackass
The Click House

What To Expect When You Say You Like Marvel Movies And The Kid In Your Film Class With The Drive (2011) Jacket Raises Their Hand To Speak

Oh shit, what were you even thinking? You should’ve known this was a bad idea. Saying you like Marvel in a film class is the equivalent of jumping into shark infested waters with an open wound, and...

  • Apr 21, 2022
Jimmy Fallon next to his NFT
The Click House

Does Jimmy Fallon Read Our Paper? We Stole His NFT To Find Out!

NFTs, or Non-Fungible Tokens, have made waves in the cryptocurrency and art world in the past year, promising that for the measly price of a few thousand dollars, you, too, can legally own a cartoon...

  • Apr 21, 2022
A man at the store is staring at a bottle of milk trying to read the contents.
Kady had barely read the nutrition facts before attempting to purchase the milk.
National

Report: Area Man Buying Skim Milk Just Gonna Glance Over Label

Sources confirmed that, while selecting skim milk in the dairy aisle, area grocery shopper Kareem Kady “only glanced over” its label. Bystanders were abashed at the incident that they had just...

  • Apr 15, 2022
Picture of Jake from State Farm sitting on a couch in a commercial
Jake from State Farm reportedly changed his name before State Farm even began advertising.
National

Report: Jake From State Farm Called Himself That Before Even Working There

Investigative journalists doing a deep dive on the classic State Farm character, Jake from State Farm, uncovered that Jake from State Farm called himself “Jake from State Farm” before even...

  • Apr 15, 2022
Man at the back of an airplane standing up
Bumbling fools everywhere called McClure’s actions a “classic move.”
National

Total Imbecile In 36C First To Get Up After Plane Landing

Sources report that the “complete imbecile” in seat 36C on a Spirit Airlines flight from Dallas/Fort Worth to Detroit was the first to get up after the plane’s landing. Dwayne McClure, the man...

  • Apr 15, 2022
A group of mothers are playing with their children in a classroom
Charlton also remarked that “these are dangerous” in reference to seeing her youngest child smile.
National

“I Can’t Have Anymore, Get These Away From Me” Says Woman Referencing Childbirth Habit

Guests of Maryanne Charlton’s book club meeting were reportedly “confused and concerned” after their host dismissively asked them to get her children away from her, saying that she “can’t...

  • Apr 15, 2022
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