Every Three Weekly

ÖÖÖÖÖ: These Words Could Really Use An Umlaut!

It’s that time of year again! The Every Three Weekly is honored to present another edition of our Annual List of Words That Could Really Use An Umlaut. And a week early no less! Our panel of...

A Man in a drive Jacket looking like a jackass

What To Expect When You Say You Like Marvel Movies And The Kid In Your Film Class With The Drive (2011) Jacket Raises Their Hand To Speak

Oh shit, what were you even thinking? You should’ve known this was a bad idea. Saying you like Marvel in a film class is the equivalent of jumping into shark infested waters with an open wound, and...

Does Jimmy Fallon Read Our Paper? We Stole His NFT To Find Out!

NFTs, or Non-Fungible Tokens, have made waves in the cryptocurrency and art world in the past year, promising that for the measly price of a few thousand dollars, you, too, can legally own a cartoon...

A man at the store is staring at a bottle of milk trying to read the contents.

Kady had barely read the nutrition facts before attempting to purchase the milk.

Report: Area Man Buying Skim Milk Just Gonna Glance Over Label

Sources confirmed that, while selecting skim milk in the dairy aisle, area grocery shopper Kareem Kady “only glanced over” its label. Bystanders were abashed at the incident that they had just...

Picture of Jake from State Farm sitting on a couch in a commercial

Jake from State Farm reportedly changed his name before State Farm even began advertising.

Report: Jake From State Farm Called Himself That Before Even Working There

Investigative journalists doing a deep dive on the classic State Farm character, Jake from State Farm, uncovered that Jake from State Farm called himself “Jake from State Farm” before even...

Man at the back of an airplane standing up

Bumbling fools everywhere called McClure’s actions a “classic move.”

Total Imbecile In 36C First To Get Up After Plane Landing

Sources report that the “complete imbecile” in seat 36C on a Spirit Airlines flight from Dallas/Fort Worth to Detroit was the first to get up after the plane’s landing. Dwayne McClure, the man...

A group of mothers are playing with their children in a classroom

Charlton also remarked that “these are dangerous” in reference to seeing her youngest child smile.

“I Can’t Have Anymore, Get These Away From Me” Says Woman Referencing Childbirth Habit

Guests of Maryanne Charlton’s book club meeting were reportedly “confused and concerned” after their host dismissively asked them to get her children away from her, saying that she “can’t...