I Just Tried to Be the Cultural Voice of Reason for This Paper

As a lead correspondent on all non-white issues for this paper, my sole mission was to provide the multicultural perspective it was lacking. Not only did I make the staff box seem more diverse, articles that would have previously been deemed politically incorrect or perhaps insensitive were completely fair game due to my mere presence. As I took the paper into uncharted territory by shining satirical rays at issues that the staff could otherwise not joke about, I hope you learned that all people, regardless of race, are equally mediocre.

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