The E3W has several worthy enemies: the Ross School of Business, Elon Musk, and “Instagram Poet” Rupi Kaur included. Despite the success of her first collection, Milk and Honey, I believe her odds of usurping me in a one-on-one cage match are slim to none. If she agrees to a fight, I will enjamb her clichés with the potent frustration of 10,000 literary nerds—and my fists. Kaur, the choice is in your hands now. Defeat me, or surrender and admit that your poetry was nothing more than pandering confessional all along.