I’ve been “Photoshopping” for this paper for four years. The burden of witnessing all that goes on behind the E3W’s printing presses has barred me from academic, professional, and even romantic endeavors. As I bid farewell to this paper (but likely not the demons it has planted inside me), there is one secret that – may God forgive me – I cannot live without betraying.
No photograph included in this paper since its inception has been “Photoshopped.” Every picture is real. Much like Santa’s elves, E3W “graphic designers” slave away to generate the impossible – not faked pictures, but real photographs of real events that were but fantastical stories in the minds of our writers a fortnight prior. An article about Mike Pence turning into a spider? My team and I went through weeks of national security nightmares and biological atrocities just to get a single photo.
Some say life imitates art. Here, we melt life into a cast iron mold and manufacture art, and the horrors I’ve endured to do so will never leave me.