For The Bored Custodian

90% of the issues we print go to waste. I used to deliver these puppies, and can tell you almost no one reads a physical copy anymore unless it is shoved in their face on the Diag. Print media is dead; most of our readership is online now anyways. But one time, in Bursley, a custodian told me we had some funny shit, and I said ‘thanks man’ and we parted ways forever. I guess the point is I’d kill a million trees to make that guy laugh even one more time.

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