My Every Three Weekly Last Will And Testament

Julia Silverman

I, Julia Silverman, resident in the State of Michigan, being of sound mind, do hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament. Following the sudden onset of fond feelings for the paper, my resignation was necessary.

  1. Guardian: I nominate and appoint whoever my plants would find sexiest as head waterer. Please argue amongst yourselves.
  2. Failed headlines I pitched: I devise and bequeath these to future writers, designers, and editors to print out and use accordingly as pieces of celebratory confetti, wall decorations, etc.
  3. E3W sweatshirt: I devise and bequeath this to people that join after Winter 2020. When we meet in person, we all wear matching outfits (Shh, please don’t ruin this lie I’m telling them!).

This paper taught me how to read and write. I’ll miss seeing what everyone wrote and the infographics, design, and photoshop creations every three weeks. Thanks to the readers for encouraging what we may look back on one day as a social experiment gone horribly wrong.

Related News