School of Rock is the Greatest Film of All Time and I Will Fight You If You Disagree

Children need to learn about the glory of classic rock, and this is the movie that can teach them. They need to be taught how to get the Led out. They need to know that the Man kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank.

Remember when Jack Black teaches Lawrence how to play “Touch Me” by The Doors? Or when Joan Cusack tipsy-sings to Stevie Nicks’ “Edge of Seventeen”? Or when the kids suggest they name the band Pig Rectum? Or when Freddy is asked what he likes to do for fun and says, “I don’t know, burn stuff”? This film is gold, people!

In conclusion, just as School of Rock is the greatest film of all time, The Every Three Weekly is the greatest news publication of all time. University of Michigan, it’s been real. In the immortal words of Billy: “You’re tacky and I hate you.”

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