According to local reports, area woman Susan Fenderson broke with unspoken tradition to eat her brownies when she wanted. “I- I’ve never seen confidence like this before” said her roommate, Gus...
The presidential campaign of Pete Buttigieg, openly gay mayor of South Bend, Indianna, is mired in scandal after an astonishing investigative report revealed that his husband, Chasten Buttigieg, also...
According to eyewitness reports, two undergraduates sharing a hammock caused widespread disgust and “gross vibes” from other students on Diag. “It was a really nice day today, so I decided to...
Though several of her friends had invited her to attend social functions on Saturday evening, senior Molly Wile turned down all their offers in favor of “taking some well-deserved ‘me’ time,”...
Telling you that he totally hears what you’re saying while steamrolling over your words, sources closely monitoring the situation have reported that “look,” area man Tod Simmons “totally gets...
Citing a desire to bolster his final transcript before graduating, LSA senior Lawrence Jacobson has significantly enhanced his GPA just days before commencement by procuring a set of honors cords...
As the temperature increases in Ann Arbor, students are beginning to hate themselves instead of the depressing weather. “When I walk outside, and it’s 50 degrees, I really can say that it’s not...