Saying goodbye to great friends who do great work is tough fucking shit. But for one boastful, swaggering motherfucker, the task just got infinitesimally easier to pull the fuck off: When asked to...

Ever since I was a young girl, humor has been an integral part of my identity—my friends have always considered me the ‘funny one,’ even back when my main schtick involved naming all my school...

First of all I want to thank you, dear reader! This paper has been produced for the sole purpose of making you laugh (best case scenario) or at least half-heartedly smile as often as humanly...

On Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 12:11 AM, Paul Vites wrote: Ahhhh! Shoot! Hey Marie! Sorry, I totally forgot to get back to you! I was thinking it could be something extremely short, like: "I deny any and...

After a year of telling it like it is and calling it like I see it, I’m officially done with The Every Three Weekly. It’s been told the way it was and called the way I saw. And it is jokes...

When, in one of her characteristic blackout drunken stupors, staff writer Neeyati Shah accidentally compiled a promising application to the honorable campus publication that shoved a newspaper in...

Hey, bud. I’m not sure who you are, where you’re from, or what you do, but I want you to know one thing; I saw you that one time you were reading The Every Three Weekly in the West Quad Cafeteria...