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Remember Me As I Was: Witty, Innovative, Smokin’ Hot

In my years on the E3W, I’ve been many things: creative,...

  • Apr 8, 2016

I Just Tried To Be The Cultural Voice Of Reason For This Paper

As a lead correspondent on all non-white issues for this paper, my...

  • Apr 8, 2016

The Eternal Farewell

I am no different than the Safe Sex Store, the Village Apothecary, or...

  • Apr 8, 2016

School of Rock Is The Greatest Film Of All Time And I Will Fight You If You Disagree

Children need to learn about the glory of classic rock, and this is...

  • Apr 8, 2016

I Should’ve Learned To Code

My college career has been a waste. I have no future, no career...

  • Apr 8, 2016

What Is The Role Of Humor In Our Lives?

What do we do with humor? Is it for pure entertainment? The Every...

  • Apr 8, 2016

These Beautiful, Hilarious Humans Will Be Spared When My AI Takes Over The World

I have had a great few years working with The Every Three Weekly...

  • Apr 8, 2016

It’s Been A Crazy Ride, But I’m Excited To Crash Your Parties

I can’t believe I’m graduating and leaving all my little writers...

  • Apr 8, 2016

I Peed On This Paper And Now You’re Touching It

Hello, it’s me: the man who peed on the paper that is now in your...

  • Apr 8, 2016

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