I Only Applied To This Paper Because My Ex Didn’t Think I Was Funny

I never believed in revenge, until I was dumped at the Cube in the bitter cold. I was crushed when my then-boyfriend told me that he “doesn’t get my humor” and we “have nothing in common” and he “isn’t doing my Spanish homework anymore.” Well look who’s laughing now! The campus is, thanks to my monthly niche article in the back pages.

I have ALWAYS been funny, make no mistake, and my inclusion in a satire paper that isn’t The Black Sheep proves it. Readers, if you take anything away from this farewell, take this: if you break a woman’s heart, she’ll still dedicate her tenure in a student organization to you.

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