If this image is good enough for my official WhatsApp profile, it’s good enough for the world—ahh, I mean the Every Three Weekly! My fingers are too long… This was suggested to me as the title...

Some mean seniors told me my freshman year that I should transfer schools. They said I would never get good enough grades to go to med school if I stayed at Michigan. I thought they were pessimistic....

You fuckers really thought you had me, huh? I’ll admit, it was a good effort. I give credit where it’s due, and whichever one of you blood-guzzling imps thought to put classes online and charge...