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Some Grammar Notes Before I Go

The Oxford Comma You will always use the Oxford Comma. There is never...

  • Apr 16, 2020

Sorry Not Sorry: I Accidentally Embezzled Away Thy Entire $14 Trillion Endowment

When I first joined the paper three years ago, I thought I had struck...

  • Apr 16, 2020

I Was Only In It For The Gatekeeping

Like many, I discovered the University of Michigan’s esteemed...

  • Apr 16, 2020

No One Ever Complimented My Every Three Weekly Sweatshirt

As I end my college career, I want it to be known that not once...

  • Apr 16, 2020

I Thought This Was A Regular Newspaper

When I first joined this paper freshman year, I thought this was a...

  • Apr 16, 2020

I Like Coffee. I Like Biking. I Like Comedy.

I like to bike. I like to drink coffee. I like comedy. Here’s how...

  • Apr 16, 2020

Has Anyone Ever Thought About How Our Dogs Probably All Have Stockholm Syndrome?

Since I joined this paper, I have pitched a headline time after time...

  • Apr 16, 2020

What Do You Guys Think Of My Hat?

Hey Guys. Writing for this paper for the past four years has been a...

  • Apr 11, 2019

I Never Would Have Joined This Paper If I Knew It Would Lead To Meeting Joseph Clemente

In my three years writing for this paper, I’ve had some good times....

  • Apr 11, 2019

To Be Honest, I’ve Always Preferred Groove

I’m sure this won’t come as a shock to my cohorts on this paper,...

  • Apr 11, 2019

I’m Sure I’ll Miss This Eventually

Looking back on my time at this university, I’m reminded of all the...

  • Apr 11, 2019

I Only Applied To This Paper Because My Ex Didn’t Think I Was Funny

I never believed in revenge, until I was dumped at the Cube in the...

  • Apr 11, 2019
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