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Alex Wagner

Despite Best Efforts Of University, Alex Wagner Graduates

You fuckers really thought you had me, huh? I’ll admit, it was a...

  • Apr 25, 2021
TK Kim

The Only Person I Recognize On This Page Is Ben Manley

One thing they never tell you when you get to be a designer for The...

  • Apr 25, 2021
Julia Silverman

My Every Three Weekly Last Will And Testament

I, Julia Silverman, resident in the State of Michigan, being of sound...

  • Apr 25, 2021
Josh Savitz

Joining This Paper Was A Life Changing Experience That I Might Never Recover From

When I first started writing for The Every Three Weekly, I could...

  • Apr 25, 2021
Ben Manley

An Exposé By Ben Manley

I’ve been “Photoshopping” for this paper for four...

  • Apr 25, 2021
Lucy Sohr

Addressing Your Allegations

During my time on this paper, lots of information has been spread...

  • Apr 25, 2021
Redacted

[Redacted]

 COVID vaccine  5G real and verifiable  top secret government...

  • Apr 25, 2021
A woman shamefully displying her anxiety-influenced phone screen

Floral Instagram Graphic Diagnoses Area Woman With Crippling Anxiety

Sources have confirmed that, last Saturday, Kinesiology junior Kara...

  • Apr 25, 2021
A park bench in the arb waiting to be broken up on

Boring Park Bench Granted 15 Minutes of Fame As Site Of Devastating Breakup

Commonly dubbed the “least interesting place to sit in the entire...

  • Apr 25, 2021
A packaged covid test, unopened

Report: COVID Spit Tests Know What You Did Last Night

Students throughout the University are reportedly feeling...

  • Apr 25, 2021
A pile of dishes patiently waiting for someone else to do them

Economics Major Employs Trickle Down Method When Washing Dishes

Sophomore Jesse Burns has taken to letting the “trickle down...

  • Apr 25, 2021

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